Published: January 03, 2008 07:23 pm            

Love,Sidney

Is thank-you note fitting for a ‘re-gift?’

Got a problem you'd like to share with Sidney? Write to her at: The Meridian Star, P.O. Box 1591, Meridian, MS 39301 or e-mail her at sidneycovington@comcast.net. All submissions are confidential and go directly to Sidney.



Dear Sidney ...

My husband and I have always believed that a thank-you note is the most appropriate thing to do following a gift or a kindness. In fact, I've taught my children the same thing, making them crank them out throughout their years of growing up. I continue to write them and continue to enjoy receiving them.

Here's my question: We received a gift from another couple (in our church) and when we opened it at home, we found a gift card from someone else where they'd given it to our friends!!! In other words, our friends didn't even bother to go out and find a gift for us on their own, but instead, simply found something they already had and didn't like and re-wrapped it (I assume they took the time to do that!) and gave it to us.

I find it tacky and not deserving of a thank-you note at all. What's your opinion?

Signed,

Miffed



Dear Miffed,

There's a new word that's become part of today's vernacular: re-gifting.

I think everyone's been guilty of at least thinking about doing it if not having done it. I, personally, don't have a big problem with it since you asked my opinion. However, I do have a problem with, not so much the spirit in which it was given to you, but the spirit in which it was received by you.

I don't want to beat you up here, but what's the big deal? Do you know how rare it is to find friends in today's koo-koo world that even care enough to give gifts? Having friends is THE gift – not what they give you to unwrap. You, in turn, being a friend to them is your gift as well. So what if they re-gifted to you? What's wrong with sparing them the embarrassment of finding out that they left the original card in it? Is that your intent ... to embarrass them? If they hadn't done this, but instead had given you a gift that you didn't like, would you tell them? Certainly not – you'd thank them. And, you should in this case as well.

Do the right thing ... thank them and YES, do it with a note. Perhaps, in your thank-you note, you might not want to dwell on the gift, but rather on what their friendship means to you. I dare say that three years from now, you won't remember the gift they gave, but you'll certainly remember them. Friends enrich our lives ... not the gifts they give.

Love, Sidney

... And another one related:



Dear Sidney,

Is it okay to e-mail a thank-you note to someone that gave me a gift?



Signed,

Thankful but confused



Dear Thankful,



Yes and no.



Let me start by saying that,in my opinion, we should always send thank-you notes in some fashion – when appropriate. I wouldn't send one to someone that I received in playing that ever-popular Sunday School Dirty Santa game. And, when a close family member gives a gift, I don't think it's necessary to send them a thank-you note (By the way, Mom, I love my purse. Thank you.).

But, in other cases, we should still send notes. Please, let's all try to keep manners and courtesies alive here! As to the e-mailing a thank-you note ... I'd e-mail one if your gift came via e-mail, such as a e-mailed gift card or something of that nature. Otherwise, if they took the time to go out and purchase or to make you one, the least we can do is take the time to stop and write a note.

Love,

Sidney



Speaking of thanking ...



To everyone that has been so kind in saying that they miss my column when it's not in the paper ...THANK YOU!! It's nice to know I'm missed!

Keep sending the letters – via e-mail or snail mail. Your anonymity will always be protected by me – no one sees the mail but me. Oh, and no more offers of marriage either ... I'm happy with the one I've got!!! Thanks anyway.

        

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