Published: July 24, 2008 08:45 pm            

How to discourage a borrower: Just say ‘no’

Editor's note: Dear Readers: Sidney is busy this week transporting candidates in the Mississippi Junior Miss Program. Beginning in August, Love, Sidney will be published on the second and fourth Sundays.



Got a problem you'd like to share with Sidney? Write to her at: The Meridian Star, P.O. Box 1591, Meridian, MS 39301 or e-mail her at sidneycovington@comcast.net. All submissions are confidential and go directly to Sidney.



Dear Sidney,



I have a neighbor who borrows EVERYTHING!

She's borrowed pots and pans, a shovel, my car, a sweater and even patio furniture — just to name a few things. Usually, she brings them back without me having to ask her, but some of the things she hasn't returned.

One time, she borrowed a ladder and I'd forgotten about it. Then when I needed it, I remembered that she had it but she'd loaned it to someone else and they broke it! She didn't even act like it bothered or embarrassed her! Then, to top it off, I was at a party not long ago and her sister was there wearing one of my blouses!!!

What do I do?



Signed,

Bothered by borrowing



Dear Bothered ...



First, turn and wave to the guy driving away in the turnip truck you obviously fell off of.

I mean do you seriously have to ask what to do? I don't want to appear mean, but let's hope she doesn't ask to borrow your brain, girlfriend.

Okay, that was mean, but, hey ... I'm a columnist now and I'm supposed to interject some humor. But, in a word: stop loaning stuff — "just say no" doesn't apply only to drugs but also to borrowers.

Unless you want to ask her about the blouse (I know I would), consider it a loss. Next time she asks to borrow something, smile sweetly and say "No." If she asks why not, just tell her the turnip truck drove off.



Love, Sidney



•••



Dear Sidney,



My mother in law and I get along really well except for one thing ... she is constantly correcting my kids about their manners when we eat. She stays on them all the time and it drives me crazy. She's so old-fashioned and so many of the things she teaches them are so outdated. My husband just sits there when she does this and doesn't say a thing and she's his mother!!!

I've taught them to say "please" and "thank-you," but really, I just don't think it's that big a deal for them to put their left hands in their laps — I mean who does that??? And so what if they don't put their napkins in their laps — it's not the end of the world or anything, is it?

Like I said, we get along fine except for this one thing, but don't you think it's my job to teach them and not hers?



She's bugging me –



Dear She ...



Yes, it most certainly is your job to teach them, but apparently you're not doing it!

I, for one, am glad that your mother-in-law cares enough to try to instill in them some social graces regardless of how "old-fashioned" you may think they are. I've got news for you, sister — manners don't go out of style. Besides, what'll it hurt them to learn some nice things?

You never know but one day when they're grown, they may have a job interview that includes a meal. Wouldn't it be a shame if your child lost the job to another applicant simply because he or she had the manners of a goat? In this day and age, there are so few grandparents free to help teach the grandkids and your children are blessed to have a grandmother who's dedicated to helping nurture them.

Sorry, sister, but you don't have my support on this one.



Love, Sidney



• Sidney Covington has a master's degree in counseling. She is a patient advocate and public relations

representative for Riley Hospital.

        

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