Published: March 03, 2008 10:19 am      

Co-worker is too much a party animal for working mom

Got a problem you'd like to share with Sidney? Write to her at: The Meridian Star, P.O. Box 1591, Meridian, MS 39301 or e-mail her at sidneycovington@comcast.net. All submissions are confidential and go directly to Sidney.



Dear Sidney,



Until recently, I have worked for large corporations and spent most of my time traveling, so I didn't have a lot of "work" friends.

After our daughter was born I was fortunate enough to find a job that allows me to enjoy being a mom and still have a decent income. Sounds great, right? Wrong!

I really love my new job, and most of the people I work with. However, there is one "lady" and I use that term loosely, that I can't seem to shake. She has attached herself to me as her new best friend. Don't get me wrong, she is very nice and can be a lot of fun, but at the very least she is a party girl and leads a very colorful life of which she has shared the details openly. (This is a mild description, she would be very much at ease in a red light district.)

I have gone to lunch with her a couple of times to be nice, but I am afraid if I become too chummy with her I might be put in her category so to speak. (You're known by the company you keep, or at least that is what they say.) I don't want to come across as snobby and hurt her feelings, but I am a very busy new mommy, not a swinger. She is already avoided by most of the ladies here and only hangs out with the men. What can I do?



Signed

Too pooped to party



Dear Pooped,



How fortunate you are to have the work arrangement you have now – to be able to spend quality time with your child while drawing a comfortable income is enviable. Regarding Barnacle Betty, your new appendage, it sounds like once she gave you a peek into her daily journal and shared her standing-on-the-corner-winking-at-the-cars experiences, she'd claimed you as her new BFF (Best Friend Forever).

I've had my share of these "friends" and it always seemed like it was going to be difficult to shake 'em. I'm thinking that you don't have as big a problem as you're thinking you do – simply tell her the truth.

When she invites you out, let her know that you wish you had the free time to indulge yourself in playing, but you have to spend your free time with your child. Be sweet, but tell her that you don't have enough time to enjoy your child as it is and you realize it won't be long before she's grown and gone. Who wouldn't understand that? That ought to buy you about 15-18 years.

And don't be too concerned about hurting her feelings because you won't ... Needy Nellies find new parasitic hosts quickly.



Love, Sidney



• Sidney Covington has a master's degree in counseling. She is a patient advocate and public relations representative for Riley Hospital.