Meridian Star

September 14, 2013

Brain-damaged men

By Ron Wood
The Meridian Star

MERIDIAN — Have you ever suspected that men and women think in very different ways? I am going to prove to all you ladies that us men are wired differently, or at least, that we really did come from a different planet. Read this little story and you’ll believe me.

    The man’s wife said, "Hon, go to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have avocados, get six." “Okay,” he said. Soon her husband returns, carrying six loaves of bread. "Why did you get six?" she asked. "Because, they had avocados," he answered.

    Men will get it the first time. Women will have to read it again.

    Medical science reveals that as sexual differentiation occurs for a fetus in the womb, a male baby’s brain is bathed with testosterone. That affects one part of its development - the corpus coliseum - the name for the connecting tissue between the right and left hemispheres. In males, it shrinks.

    The way I see it, us men have a brain like two computers that synch up while women have one inter-connected brain that links everything to everything.

    Us men can compartmentalize. She can’t do that as easily. We can see unpaid bills on the desk but still decide to go hunting. We can see dirty floors, dirty dishes, dirty laundry, and still want sex. Nope, not that way with women. Ain’t gonna happen. Everything spills over and affects everything else in her mental world.

    The way you (the man) showed courtesy, affection — or the last words she heard you speak when you left for work in the morning — are still there, all mixed in, very much a part of her thinking and her feelings later that evening. For her, it’s all related.

    Little offenses, undone chores, even crying children, all get mixed into the “mood” and will affect her feelings. Flowers? It’s often our attempt to make up for our many masculine lapses.

    Hey, I know — it’s not logical, is it? But what can you do? That’s the way she is. We are two distinct variations of one human species. Been like that since the beginning, so go with the flow. Men, do yourself a favor: empty the trash, clean out the car, pick up your clothes. For her, it’s better than a Hallmark card.

    A man’s brain triangulates data between the left and right halves of his brain. I think it enables men to be better fighter pilots. Maybe that’s why most men can calculate the speed of an oncoming car faster than a woman can. He will often go ahead and cross the road or turn, while women aren’t as sure of the projected speed, so they will wait until the other car has passed and then safely proceed.

    There’s more to it than that, of course: our conditioning, nurturing, role-playing, and the expectations we all carry for our normal behavior. But for the majority, despite notable exceptions, I think I’ve got this brain stuff figured out.

    So, the next time your wife tells you, “You were born brain-damaged!” She’s probably right!

    Ron Wood ministers at Trinity Assembly of God, Chandler Road and State Blvd Ext. Ron hosts “The Father’s Power” radio program on 103.3 FM, Sunday at 8 a.m. and 7 p.m.  601-483-8189.