Meridian Star


September 7, 2012

The Baddest Creature in the Woods


MERIDIAN — Unrepentant


    Why am I not repentant for this low blow on kudzu? Because it is getting its comeuppance, that’s why. How many of us take a lunch break in a kudzu patch when we are out hiking or hunting? You not only can’t lunch there, you can’t stalk game there, you can’t run there, you can’t see far there. In short kudzu takes exclusive control of the land it grows on.

    If we are out walking through the woods and come upon a patch of kudzu, we must alter our line of travel. How many folks walk straight through a patch of the tangled mess? No. We walk a quarter mile out of our way just to accommodate this disrespectful plant. It takes up our space and inconveniences us everywhere it grows.

    Facing a bear or an angry cougar with a gun, one has a chance to come out of the scrap in good health. But try to use your rifle or shotgun or sidearm on kudzu. Shoot the whole magazine load and all the kudzu will suffer is a few drooped leaves!

    You can catch a bear or panther in a trap, but trapping kudzu? Ha!.

    If you are searching for the mean things in the woods, kudzu has to be at the top of the list.

    I must shut off the computer now, and close this column at this point. My front door is open and I feel something winding around my leg!


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