Published: April 14, 2007 11:12 pm      

Help Wanted

Needed 1 scapegoat to manage the Iraq, Afghanistan and future wars of choice. The position will allow the applicant to oversee and have complete authority to issue directions to the Pentagon, the State Department and other agencies. You will be responsible for answering all press inquiries regarding all military conflicts that the President, Mr. Rove or Mr. Cheney feel necessary to create in order to fulfill their quest of domination of the world’s oil markets. This position was formerly known as the Commander In Chief, but since Mr. Bush has determined that this title is too much “hard work,” it will now be known as the War Czar. We have obtained permission from the Russians to use the term. We will be naming a new agency to house the Department and as soon as we obtain the rights to the term “Reich” from the Germans, we will set that up. As a number of our Generals have turned down the position we are opening up the position to lower ranking persons, former Reagan appointees and out of work radio talk show hosts. Please apply to: “The Ranch” 1600 Brushy Road Crawford, Texas. For faster response e-mail T. Blossom at his RNC address.



Brian Essex

Jackson