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December 2, 2008

Newk's evil chocolate cake

  I am on a diet.

  A diet is a serious problem for someone in the restaurant business. It also poses a predicament with my second day job— being a food writer— which requires, at a minimum, eating a lot of food and then writing about it.

  There are several food items I miss. Most of them have to do with bread in one way or another. I love cake. I miss cake. I especially love chocolate cake, and I especially miss chocolate cake.

  My favorite chocolate cake is served at Newk's Express Cafe. It's better than my grandmother's, which for me, is a solemn statement. I've never said that about anything.

  Newk's chocolate cake is evil. I suggest you never eat it. Don't do it. You'll be hooked. It's addictive.

  I don't know what they call it at Newk's, probably just "chocolate cake." I call it "evil." I really do. When I order it I say, "Give me some of that evil chocolate cake." And they do. And I eat it. I have had that exchange over and over for the last several years, which is why I am currently eating chicken breasts and broccoli and dreaming of cake.

  My son loves it, too. When we have dinner at another restaurant in town, we often stop at Newk's for dessert and take their evil chocolate cake home. That is, unless we ate dinner at Newk's, this makes it much easier to just eat the cake there.

  Don't eat Newk's chocolate cake. Just say no. Be strong. If you fail to heed this warning, don't email or call me from the Newk's Chocolate Cake Rehab Center, because I'll just say, "I told you so." And when you wind up on a non-cake eating diet because you ate way, way, way, way too much chocolate cake don't say that I didn't warn you.

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