Meridian Star

Columns

April 25, 2014

You’ve just got to believe …

MERIDIAN — A couple of years back, as I was browsing through one of my favorite  what-a-deal shops, I found a forever young magic potion made exclusively from a concoction of turtle cream. Yes, I said turtle and don’t ask me which parts cause I didn’t dwell too much on specifics – you know too-much-information is not always a good thing.

    I had noticed the jar, the container, right off – just got my attention in a mysterious way … made me wonder, made me inquisitive, so I stopped and took it off the shelf.  Holding it toward the light, I noticed the smooth lines of the mystery jar as it cupped comfortably in my hand. I leaned toward the light and read the fine print. Made from the finest pure ingredients of turtle cream to decrease even the most sagging countenance …”

    Hum, I thought, sagging countenance – maybe I should give this a try.

    So I added this sag-er-fix-er-upper to my purchases and headed for the checkout lane. My checker was non-too enthusiastic with her job on that day or at least she wasn’t until I came along. She swiftly checked each item until the jar, and as if in a trance, she lifted this magic potion, much as I had, to the light and read.

    “Does that say turtle cream?” she asked with a doubtful look.

    Trying to be non-committal, I nodded.

    “Oh my,” answered my checker from checkers-ville, a land from far, far away. “Turtle cream, really,” she repeated through lips perched over sagging jowls and a double chin.

    Again, as I stifled a yawn, trying to be a non-alarmist, you know, just an everyday purchase, here Miss Cashier, I stumbled an answer, “Yes, I believe that’s what I read in the ingredients.”

    “Believe,” she practically shouted, peering over her glasses.  Then she summed it up in a neat package, as she concluded, “Yes, you’ve just got to believe!”

    I must have been in the believing mode that day and for many weeks afterwards as I generously slapped the murky green magic potion upon my sagging countenance and you’ve just got to believe became my daily motto. From that time forward I erased my standard bloviating comments, “Oh, I don’t believe that,” to “You’ve just got to believe.” Take it from an unbelieving turned believer-self, it is working!

    So, yes, I fell for the turtle cream, but recently another young and beautiful skin opportunity hit the airwaves. It seems there is a melon, with magical powers, located in exotic places, which can only be reached through the most devastating conditions – wild animals, bottomless pits, gator's bigger than “yo-momma,” and other stuff I can’t repeat in polite company.

    Uh-huh, but weird as it may sound, a good-looking doctor, with a French accent, discovered this melon-of-all-melons and now he extracts the potent juices, not for a breakfast drink, mind you, but for eternal youth. Yep, that’s right, you suckers!

    Not to say I don’t entirely believe, at least not until I try it myself, but I’m scared of gator's, and I’ve never been in a bottomless pit, not that I remember, anyways. But you see I’m game … yes, everlasting young and beautiful skin is tricky and requires, I suppose, a little danger along the way.

    That’s when I thought of the many times I stepped out with courage and conviction. I mean my husband has always said I have more guts than sense, sometimes, that is. There was the time I first tried eating raw oysters, and oh, yeah, the first time I had my hair highlighted at home by the husband with crochet hook in hand and a big bottle of bleach. Now that was scary!

    So turtle cream and magical melons – this is nothing for a senseless, yet brave soul, such as me. I blaze my own trails. I mark my own territory, and I always, always believe.

 

    Anne McKee is a storyteller and writer. See her web site: www.annemckee.net

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