Jesus rode a donkey ... but he wasn’t on the campaign trail

By Steve Gillespie / managing editor

September 02, 2007 01:19 am

You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that’s clear
I will choose free will.

— from the song “Free Will” by Rush, 1980, Mercury Records

Many Mississippi Democrats who wouldn’t have been caught dead voting for Haley Barbour four years ago will run, not walk, to the polls in support of him this November.
The Democratic nominee for governor, John Arthur Eaves Jr., leaves some of the more liberal persuasion in the state feeling as if they have no other choice than to vote for the status quo.
Although there aren’t many liberals in Mississippi, they realize being apathetic about this year’s governor’s race — and not voting at all — will benefit Eaves.
More than 457,000 people in this state voted for Democratic nominee John Kerry in the last presidential election. That’s up from just over 404,000 Mississippians who voted for Al Gore in 2000 — before 9-11 and the war. All those voters weren’t liberal by any means, but they were at least comfortable enough with the national party platform to vote Democratic.
Eaves doesn’t represent the national Democratic party at all, and while his supporters consider that a plus, when those in Mississippi who are pro-choice on abortion, or who are pro-marriage for same sex couples don’t have a choice at the polls on those social issues, the question this year becomes whether or not they want a governor who is a political animal or one who has been called to save our souls.
It’s going to be important enough for some Democrats to try to send a message in November, even if it will be hard to detect other than in their own hearts and minds, that they’d rather have a conservative Republican than a populist evangelical Democrat as governor any day of the week.
“Christ came to the people,” Eaves said in a Washington Post interview this year. “And I believe that’s the role of the Democratic Party.”
There’s a popular book that rests on Eaves’ desk according to a blog that follows an interview he gave with the Jackson Free Press that can be read online at www.jacksonfreepress.com. It’s called “Jesus Rode a Donkey: Why Republicans Don’t Have the Corner on Christ” written by Linda Seger.
It’s true, Democrats can be Christians just as Republicans can be. And liberals can be just as Christian as conservatives. One of the central ideas behind our form of government, however, is that our laws come from the people, not from God by way of the candidate of His or Her choice. That way, we can have effective, talented government leaders who are Christian, Muslim, Jewish, atheist, whatever works for their personal, spiritual well-being.
Eaves evokes the Lord in interviews, speeches and advertisements almost as much as his own personal Angel (that’s his wife’s name). He also likes to tell how he baptized his kids in the Jordan River.
And, Eaves keeps giving us the Sunday School lesson of how Jesus healed the sick, reached out to the poor and came to tell the truth, which he says translates into support for health care, economic development and education.
Here’s some other translations voters should consider when watching Eaves’ television commercial we’ve been bombarded with lately.
Eaves: “I’m pro-family, pro-life and pro-gun ...”
Translation: “You Republicans don’t be afraid to vote Democratic. I’m just like all the conservative Christian right-wing Republican males you’re used to who claim to want less government in the lives of people — except when it pertains to the sex lives of homosexuals and women — and I won’t let the liberals monkey around with what they stupidly perceive to be the real danger out there, too many guns too easily accessible to people who want to hurt others.”
Eaves: “I believe marriage is between a man and a woman ...”
Translation: “Heterosexual love is superior to homosexual love and gay people should not love at all. They are not worthy of the rights other Americans have unless they pretend to be something they are not.”
Eaves: “I support school prayer ...”
Translation: “Even though there is nothing to prevent an individual from praying whenever they want, I want you to know I support it because it may get me more votes — and, if we can figure out a way to make public school-led prayer mandatory, as long as it’s Christian, I’ll be for that, too.”
Eaves: “Take my family to church on Sunday ...”
Translation: “See, I told you God is a Democrat ...”
Eaves: “Love to hunt and fish with my boys ...”
Translation: “I’m a boy, too. A good ol’ boy. I don’t want you to think I’m as wildernessly-challenged as I look. And should some powerful political force emerge in Mississippi to try and take hunting and fishing away from us, well, I’ll be against it.”
Eaves: “And I will protect the rights of the unborn ...”
Translation: “And I will ignore the rights of Mississippi women. They don’t need to have a choice as to whether or not they should have an abortion unless they can afford to go out of state or convince me it’s OK with a note from their doctor.”
Eaves: “I also believe we have a moral obligation to see that every Mississippi child has health insurance and a quality education ...”
Translation: “Health insurance and a good education for all children sounds like socialist, communist, liberal gobbledygook, but it probably is the Christian thing to do. That doesn’t mean we have any moral obligations to adults, though.”
Eaves: “I’m John Eaves. These are my values and what I stand for.”
Translation: “I don’t have a plan, a clue, or a prayer — I just want to be Governor.”
While Haley Barbour also is pro-family, pro-life and pro-gun, at least his mandate appears to come from the majority of the people in Mississippi, not the almighty. It’s one thing for our leaders to have religious convictions, but to serve his “Creator by serving the people of Mississippi,” as Eaves says he would do on his Web site, www.eaves2007.com, it appears he’s seeking office to be more of a missionary than a public servant or even a leader who might have some viable solutions for this state’s problems.
For those who look for biblical signs when deciding who to vote for, besides the Jordan River and donkeys and angels consider this, Eaves’ birthday is Sept. 6, 1966 ... 6-6-6 ... it could be an omen.

Steve Gillespie is managing editor of
The Meridian Star. E-mail him at
sgillespie@themeridianstar.com.

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