Published: April 13, 2008 12:19 am            

What is true happiness?

It seems that since my grandmother became sick and passed away just over four months ago, I've been giving a lot of thought to what constitutes happiness in life. I wish I could go back and ask her, "If you had it to do over again, would you do anything differently?" "Is it better to travel the world, or raise four children?" "Does constantly putting others' needs above your own eventually take its toll?" "What gave you the most happiness in your eighty-something years?" But I can't. So I am forced to continue to try and figure it all out for myself, as I am sure many others do as well.

When I am stumped on an issue, I inevitably turn to research and literature in my field of counseling to see what logical and rational information is available. I found something of interest that I thought I'd share.

Since its inception, the field of mental health, much the same as the medical field, has focused on understanding and treating diseases and deficits within the person. However, in the past decade, there has been a shift in mental health, emphasizing the need for wellness. What this term emphasizes is that even if a person is free of troubles and symptoms, it does not necessarily mean they have wellness, or optimal functioning, true happiness, an unshakable sense of well-being even.

Many of you are shaking your head now, thinking, "That's true. I don't have any major complaints in life. But I still don't really feel as happy as I should." It's the same as if I just recovered from the flu. I don't still have the symptoms that make me feel so sick, but that doesn't mean I feel so great either. Even though I'm symptom free, I'm still not functioning at my full physical capacity.

In order to have wellness, experts state that you must continually strive for it in four areas, not just one or two. The areas in need of your constant attention are: Physical wellness, Social wellness, Spiritual wellness, and Psychological wellness. Briefly, physical wellness entails regular check-ups, self-exams, proper nutrition, vitamins, exercise, maintaining proper weight, and eliminating bad habits related to alcohol and tobacco use. Social wellness involves engaging in social activities, being involved in your community, and incorporating social interactions with others into your life. However, it is not simply the quantity of interactions that matter, but the quality. These interactions should be meaningful, healthy, enjoyable, and beneficial to you. Spiritual wellness means that you have a sense of peace about your life and a feeling of purpose and meaning. Those who are spiritually well may use various avenues to attain it. Many engage in religious services and activities, meditation, prayer, and experiences with nature in order to process and ponder issues related to gaining a sense of peace and purpose in one's life. Finally, psychological wellness pertains to living without guilt or regret, avoiding unnecessary stress, simplifying one's life, and seeking treatment for concerns when needed.

Still, I wanted to know more. That's when I came across the really interesting part contained in the works of Dr. Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania. It went something like this: There is a difference between leading a "pleasant" life, a "good" life, and a "meaningful" life. It seems that a pleasant life can be obtained by having experiences that bring you pleasure in your daily life. In other words, attending to your needs and doing what you enjoy day in and day out can afford you a pleasant life – hanging out and having fun, if you will.

In order to have a good life, however, you must take it a step further. A good life, it seems, is attained by engaging in the pleasant life, but also continually stretching your skills, challenging your abilities, and gaining new knowledge. It comes from knowing your strengths, using them, and improving upon them, or being capable, competent, and continually striving.

Now, take notes on this last part because it is gold. A meaningful life, it seems, is one in which the person engages in the pleasant life and the good life, but also uses their life in such a way as to contribute to something beyond, and larger than, themselves. An individual should have pleasures in life, and should continually strive to grow, but ultimately, these things should be done so that the person is capable of contributing to the betterment of others, a act known as altruism.

It shouldn't be an eye opener, though I fear it may be for some, that happiness is the result of more than experiencing pleasure. I know plenty of people with plenty of pleasure and attention to their own needs, yet they are no happier than the next person. It's obvious that something is missing because they seem always in pursuit of the next pleasure, and none-too-happy until they get it.

Moving on to those who are continually striving to learn and grow – these individuals do not quite fit the definition of true happiness either. Instead, they seem a little stressed and anxious. When a new task is mastered or a new goal is reached, they seem happy for a moment because they feel they've earned their keep, but then they are on to mastering the next task in order to feel a sense of satisfaction and happiness within themselves yet again.

Yes, it makes sense that in order to have true happiness, we should not only attend to our wellness in physical, social, spiritual, and psychological areas, but we should then move forward, progressing through the stages of the pleasant life, the good life, and finally, the meaningful life. It seems only through the satisfaction of each of these things – and then through using such satisfaction, stability, and peace to do good things for others, to contribute to our surroundings, to add value to our world in some way – it seems only then are we truly able to achieve happiness.



Dr. Susan Eaves is a behavioral specialist and therapist in the Division of Children and Youth Services at Weems Community Mental Health.

        

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